This week drags on without end. It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and it doesn’t even feel as if the holiday season started. The source of my contention lies in the fact that I didn’t cook a turkey, had to work yesterday, and my family is 1200 miles away. If any of the afore mentioned reasons had occurred (or not occurred as the case may be), my outlook might differ.
Work alone brought me down this week. I’m on a position that I haven’t run in well over two months, and it has some of the hardest shots in the show. Normally I welcome the challenge, but my head isn’t in the place that it needs to be. Nothing feels right or normal — it’s almost as if I’m standing still while the world continues on around me. I see it happening, but my mind is stuck in an alternate view of the situation. Maybe I want this Master’s degree so much that my subconscious is now affecting everyday life. This is not like me to not care — I usually want to do well at whatever task is placed in front of me — or go beyond expectations. I’ve even thought about leaving and taking on two menial jobs, but I know this would not make me any happier and is counterproductive to my immediate goals.
I believe my subconscious mind figured out something and is letting me know a piece at a time. The whole picture will become clear when it’s time.