In the way of days, today moved from good, to bad, then finally ugly.
I love working as a page at the library. I received my 6 month performance review, and it rocks. All good, no bad. Our new reference librarian is a very cool and talented guy. Everyone finally seems to be settling in to the staff changes. All is happy in the land of books.
My hairstylist apparently skipped town. I heard rumors about her closing shop, but I thought it that’s all. I stopped in today to make sure the appointment for tomorrow still held, but it’s closed up tight. The shelves are still stocked, but the chairs are empty and the lights are off. Marlene, where have you gone? It’s in poor customer service not to call your future appointments when a business shuts down. And it’s even worse when that’s the only person in 8 years who has ever cut your hair correctly.
My old friends, the self-doubt twins, paid a visit to me tonight. Again. Over the past week it feels as if I’m in over my head. My full-time job frustrates me with the lack of respect people posses towards each other. Communication is a big factor in that. I wonder if I’m working too much (YES!) and in the end forcing concentric circles to nowhere. I know I need to get back to school where I can learn the rest so that I can get a full-time library job. But I need a job to pay for school, and the cycle begins all over again. Money is a bit of an issue in that case. The other half of the pair comes down to relationships. I’ve made very big decisions over the last month regarding my standings with a number of people. Some now stand severed, others strengthened. Maybe the problem is me, but I know what I want. I’m not going to settle for less. Still something elusive keeps me from it.