Two days ago the drama ended. I took the GRE and am happy with the unconfirmed results. Amazingly, the practice tests that I took were an excellent indicator of my actual score. Now it’s application and financial aid time which is the hard part of the entire process. It’s also frightening to think how I’m going to afford it. Although, the old student loans will go into deferment, so it won’t be quite so bad.
This past weekend I started to work on the 8’x12′-ish area that sits right outside my bedroom and den window. It’s a pain to get a lawn mower into the area (the previous occupants placed mulch in the area), and an even bigger pain to weed-whack it. Sick of looking at weeds, I’ve decided to pull everything out that’s in there, highlight the walkway with red brick, line the area with landscape paper, and then cover it with red stepping stones and small river stones. That way, I can set some potted plants or herbs on the stepping stones. Low maintenance once it’s complete. Just the way I like yard work.
A thought occurred to me driving home from work last night. I think through most of my life my outlook leans mostly towards the positive. Optimistically speaking, this is great! On the other hand, I wonder if it hasn’t lead to a sort of naivete. My parents marriage is wonderful, tragedy has never really struck too close to home, and there are places that I’ve travelled to that many people will never see in person. In many ways, my eyes are wide open to the world and current events. All this good fortune, though, keeps me sheltered from extreme feelings which sometimes prevents me from relating to others. I am reserved and cautious, sometimes to the point of extreme shyness. Other people’s feelings are important considerations in my daily actions. I realize that when I am unhappy, people surrounding me sometimes mirror my emotion. That may be a bit egotistical, but each person that comes in contact with another influences them in some way. The entirety of the world is interconnected in some bizarre, unknown way. I’m just trying to do my part, attempting to make it a happy, truthful, and better ever day.