Together yet Apart

Over the past month, three separate people assumed that I am married. This is not true and stirred up the feelings of loneliness and put the fact that I am single on my mind again. First, let me explain these terms. There is a distinct difference between loneliness and being alone. Loneliness involves another person, and therefore is not solitary. The state of “alone” consists of a single person. Both states possess inherent good — most people require alone time to recharge — but loneliness generally carries a negative connotation.

The reason why this subject becomes poignant is because February contains a wonderful holiday called Valentine’s Day. Many happily-coupled people revel in the love this day contains, while the rest of the single, unattached, and (quite often) jaded humans despise it. With good reason, I might add. For a brief but very informative history of the day, head on over to The History Channel’s article.

This year I’m definitely falling into the jaded category. As I age, my outlook on the day falls to cynicism. I believe most of that falls to society’s pressure for a woman to marry by her mid-twenties. Even with modern values, it’s amazing how much is placed on traditions and the influence of religion.

To tell the truth, I am enjoying the time alone. It’s spent thinking about which direction my life is headed and figuring out what is important in life. On the other hand, loneliness does set in on occasion. There are special friends that I miss and would love to spend more time with them. Let’s just say that the person who marries me is going to need understanding, patience, and some time alone. This man will have to put up with my whims and quirks (not much unlike the Gilmore Girls) and penchant for cheesy crackers. He also needs to realize that I understand (and sometimes speak) guy talk. I’ve been working with mostly males for the last ten years of my life. I read the fine print and know the codes. In the midst of all that tomboyishness, though, he also needs to realize that I’m a woman and like to do girl things when given the chance.

Geez… that’s starting to sound like a personal ad.

Anyhoo, it’s tough meeting people. Society doesn’t help. Don’t know if a long-distance thing would ever work, although I’m sure if the right person came along it would endure through anything. The balance between independence/alone and dependency/together is a frighteningly fantastic decision to make.



Sara Written by:

I'm an Information Architect and Taxonomist in the greater Philadelphia, PA area. Mad about metadata. Incessant organizer. Knowledge monger. Information seeker. Wisdom chaser. Curiosity has yet to kill this cat!